One night, a million years ago, my friends and I were sitting around drinking and reading a list of disgusting sexual acts and laughing at how absurd they were. So naturally, when I got my first computer immediately after and had to pick my AOL screen name (that’s how long ago it was), I chose that, because I thought it was funny for a girl to have a gross thing as a screen name and stuck 69 on it because that’s what douchey guys did.
I thought it was funny, and my friends thought it was funny, but then I (stupidly) gave it to someone in my family and found myself answering the question, “What does donkey punch mean?” For lack of anything better to say, I said it was a video game. And the second after, the panic of when someone was going to figure out what it really meant began. Even worse, I wondered if there were people in my family who already knew what it was.
A couple of weeks later, everyone was at my grandma’s for some family thing, and my cousin’s five year-old yelled out, “Let’s play donkey punch! I want to play donkey punch! Donkey punch! Donkey punch!”
Me and my dumb jokes.
In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit…